How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Matt Stewart CEO Rejection

This is a common skill I see a lot of successful people have mastered…

The reason it is such a vital skill is because rejection is inevitable, everyone will experience it at some time or another. You are very likely to experience rejection in at least one aspect of your life!
Have you been rejected by a job?
Rejected by a girl or a guy?
Rejected by Sales?
Rejected by a Sport Team?
Each day you will be faced with the prospect of rejection. Normally the fear of rejection will stop someone from taking an action, it is certainly something that has stopped me pursuing things before. I would not want to go to a job interview just in case they said “no”. I wouldn’t approach a girl I liked just in case she said “no”.
Looking back, all of the decisions I made were based on fear of rejection. I know if this is something I struggled with, many others must struggle with it too.

There are two key things that helped me get over the fear of rejection:
Avoiding guaranteed rejection
I began to understand if I didn’t take action towards something I wanted, I was never going to get it anyway! If there was a girl I wanted, not talking to her was going to guarantee my failure. If there was a job I wanted, and I didn’t go to the interview, I was guaranteed to fail to obtain that position.
While adopting this mentality didn’t stop the feeling of fear altogether, knowing that not taking action would guarantee my failure forced me to take action.
I mentioned in a previous blog that you should act on the feeling of fear. Fear is an indicator you should take action. The number 1 reason for this is because if you do take action on the fear, you will separate yourself from the majority – simply because the majority will run away from the feeling of fear.
A lot of my fears have been disappeared since I’ve started to feel self-fulfilled and more self-assured. I believe there is a difference between arrogance and being sure of yourself; I find it crazy people would criticise someone because they are confident. I urge people to be confident in themselves! What you will also find is the people who criticise you are probably jealous of your self-assurance. When I get criticised now I feel like it is a sign I am heading in the right direction because I am achieving things that other people aren’t.
I used to be on the other side, I did not excel at university and I would criticise the people who were doing well for “working too hard and not enjoying themselves”. What a terrible mentality! The reality is, at that time in my life, my mates who were excelling were probably far more self-assured than me.
The actions I take, and my ability to handle rejection and negatives has mainly come from this newly discovered self-assurance. The question is, how do you achieve self-fulfilment and assurance? I still have a long way to go on this one but here are some of the most important factors…
1: Influence
This is the most important to me; Where do I get my information from? Who makes an impact on my decisions? When I spend time with people, are they supporting my goals? Do they want to see me do well?  Sometimes you can be being influenced the wrong way by the people closest to you. It can be a tough decision to choose not to listen to them, but it can also be an incredibly important decision to make!
2: Being on the right path
Income was a huge contributing factor to becoming self-assured and self-fulfilled. I don’t think you need to be super rich to feel fulfilled, but I do believe you have to see your income and career heading in the right direction. I am going to reiterate, spending time with people who are also successful and/or driven, is very important! They are your answer booklet to getting what you want and will inspire you!
3: Look after yourself physically and mentally
I have been through different phases in my life. If you are looking to achieve high levels of success, you have to look after your body. Watch what you eat. Your body is an energy source and if you aren’t fuelling it right how can you expect to perform for long periods of time. Success requires work ethic! Furthermore, I feel at my best when I eat healthily and work out, it seems like I can achieve more and I am more confident with myself.
Your mentality is crucial to your success. How you think and your philosophies will determine your success. It is important your mentality is being reviewed on a regular basis.
The difference between someone who is successful and unsuccessful will be how they think and how they react to life. If you can’t change your mentality, you won’t change anything!
Shape your mentality by spending time with the right people, reading books and watching motivational content that will guide you towards your goal.
All of these things will help you on your path to handling rejection with grace and confidence. Once you achieve these things you will feel like you can take on anything because you won’t fear the rejection.
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